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27. února 2021 v 09:18
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26. února 2021 v 12:43
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25. února 2021 v 17:48
Sam
Reply
chey September 12, 2011 at 11:46 am
Oh man, did I need to read this one… THANK YOU!
Reply
Aly September 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I’ve / I’d been with my boyfriend for 2 years and like many others had alot of ups and downs. He lost his job about 6 weeks after we got together and I supported him anyway i could, without screwing myself over, he moved in to save money and his increasing debt. It took 6 mths for him to get another job, but after 6 months in this new job there was a massive misunderstanding and they sacked him. It took yet another 6 months for him to find another job.
25. února 2021 v 17:48
Sam
I expected and still want an eventual life companion and I’m not going to put my daughter through that, even if she’s too young to understand it all right now. It’s very difficult to deal with. At one minute, I’m angry for him not sucking it up and being there for the family he created and at another I’m glad for him to go and see what it’s like without me. I obviously can’t go full no contact but I plan to make it extremely limited. I don’t know if we’ll get back together. It hurts that I’m now in a position to be a single mom, I’m looking for work and I really understand overemphasizing he status of a relationship now. I’m not his wife, even if I treated him like my husband. We don’t fight. We get along great. We have amazing physical compatibility and he said he just doesn’t know what it is, but he’s not happy. I feel like the early pregnancy really hurt us, as he felt internal pressure to move things along. It’s not fair, but I just have to let him go for now. Sometimes I think about dating, but it seems so overwhelming. I have a baby now, and so much more goes with that. Plus, I love him. But I can’t make someone want to be with me, so like you said… Keep it moving and expect nothing right?
25. února 2021 v 08:33
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23. února 2021 v 17:51
Sam
In the meantime, cleanse your spirit as much as you can. Meditate, do yoga regularly, take up a new hobby (I know you said you already have some), take a fun class at a local community college, go on a trip–even if it’s just an hour away. You have to get through this. You can get through this.
Thanks for reading and sharing your story.
Hug,
Kaneisha
Kaneisha´s last blog ..Is Wendy Williams Right About Marriage?
REPLY
J.G. Boccella May 10, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Kaneisha -
Good for you for knowing your worth! You are right to believe that there are men out there who are ready to celebrate you and recognize how fabulous, beautiful and powerful you are — and who can “stay there in loving attention.” I know because I married an incredible woman who refused to settle and we now have a precious 3-yr-old daughter. Rock on!
PEACE&BLESSINGS,
23. února 2021 v 17:51
Sam
REPLY
Kaneisha May 8, 2010 at 11:38 am
Hi V,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Unfortunately, your story is one I’ve seen plenty of times and still see all the time. I was your story on a mini scale (think 11 months instead of 3.5 years).
You didn’t waste 3.5 years of your life. You proved to yourself that you are capable of moving to a completely new city, getting a job, making friends, and establishing a life! That’s a really big deal! You aren’t stupid, so there was obviously some love and goodness there during the 3.5 years you two were together.
You sound pretty fabulous to me! I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. You feel like he took all the beauty, love, and goodness you had to give when he walked out of your life. I promise that he didn’t. What happened is that you wrapped so much of your happiness and self-worth up in him and the relationship, when he left, you felt like you were left with nothing.
This is not forever. This is not every man. This is not every relationship you will have.
What to do now? Warning: My advice is drastic, but drastic situations call for drastic situations.
Get out of that city. As soon as you can. You only moved there to be there with Mr. Never Ready, you did not say that you love your job (only that you have one), and everything about that city screams his name to you. I know you’re working on your MBA, so that likely means you have to stay to at least finish that (don’t let him mess with your education!). But then you get out of there as soon as you can. Move back in with your mother (I don’t care if you’re 40), go to where your best girl friend is, close your eyes and point to a map (of course one that has all the sad, cold cities crossed out). I don’t care how much furniture you have, how much money you don’t have, or how settled you’ve become in the city you live in. You get out of Dodge as soon as you can–and never loo
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13. února 2021 v 08:25
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12. února 2021 v 18:05
Sam
Terence
So much fixation on a man’s “choice” to cheat on a partner, we should remember it takes two to tango. I for one take responsibility for my portion of the actions that lead to sexual interaction with another human being.
on March 24, 2010 at 4:20 pmLaura
So Terrence, How do you feel about the lady who sued the “other woman” for $9M this week for cheating with her husband ??
I believe ALL humans are responsible for their actions and should be held accountable for those actions.
on March 24, 2010 at 4:24 pmLaura (the One Who Writes this Blog)
Hi there,
Just wanted to say there are two Lauras commenting on this blog post, and I’m happy to have both of us. But I just wanted anyone reading or responding to Laura, the Commenter to know that it’s not me (Laura, the Blogger).
Laura aka Tart and Soul
12. února 2021 v 18:04
Sam
O And I for one dont need any more “SEED” spread throughout the land……….
This is exactly why we have so many children growing up without fathers — the guys were just “spreading their seed” and didnt think of the consequences…..
on March 24, 2010 at 4:27 amKarmella
Fel, why is it so convenient for some men to blame nature on their irresponsible actions? I really wish more people could hear how tremendously silly that sounds. It’s like a kid explaining that he shouldn’t be punished for stealing candy because he needed it.
Yes, biologically we are animals, but part of our evolutionary success as human beings has been our ability to sustain civil relationships, respect pacts, and trust each other to not hurt one another.
on March 24, 2010 at 10:27 amwolfshadesblog
I have to comment here once again: Fel does *not* speak for all men. I’m getting a little tired of guys who trot out that tired argument that this behaviour is written in their DNA. If it is, then I guess that makes me (and a whole bunch of friends of mine) aliens.
That “written in their DNA” argument is just another excuse for making bad choices. Make no mistake: it is a choice, not a compulsion.
And as I said before: those who decide to make such choices are not mature men. They don’t deserve the title of “men”. They’re boys. Some boys never grow up.
